Ugh

I'll probably erase this after i'm all done but in the event that I don't....you have been warned...this is going to be a LONG post. So I'm feeling very ugh. Yes, I know that's not a word...it's a sound...ugh. I'm procrasting homework that should have been done days ago. School schedule for Summer and Fall just got posted and i'm feeling a bit...overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed by what i'm actually doing but overwhelmed by what could be. (Shawn gets mad at me for this, "it hasn't even happened yet and you're stressing over it..." Yes I know!) Shawn is doing so well in school and I am so proud of him and I can't help but feel that i'm just kind of here. I mean i'm working and taking a couple of classes but I still have yet to decide what it is that I really want to do. I thought I had made my "career" decision and now i'm kind of questioning it. I feel like my situation is kind of difficult because the career Shawn is going into is kind of...everywhere...in an organized kind of way. I mean the guy is going to be gone for a couple of days, home a couple of days and then gone again. He isn't going to be working a 9-5. So if we ever plan on seeing each other and maybe one day having kids and actually being able to see them and not send them to a babysitter's everyday, I kind of need a job that I can work around...everywhere. My job now is fine and I like the 8-5, M-F thing but seriously...I don't think I can do this forever. So my current dilemma is I have 2 career choices...2 very good choices in my opinion...I just can't choose between them. They both require a LOT of time, time that I just don't have with working right now. So I guess for now I will just stew over the fact that I have absolutley no control...anyone that knows me, knows that I am super control freak...so this whole no control thing does not work out well for me. But I will try and hope that I can figure all of it out...or not...haha...pretty much I don't know anything. Nuf said.


And to add on to all of that...



Happy April Fools Day.